Lagos life

I was appointed a local government chairman.
It was not an election.
It happened by default.
Because I’m a Nigerian.
My local government area is my flat.
I run my affairs from there.

I have my own water utility
It’s called a borehole
And a water purifying plant,
It’s called a CWAY dispenser!
I have my own electricity company
(Actually, I have two of them;
One is called the Generator;
The other is called the Inverter)

I have my own local constabulary
It’s headed by Musa and Baba Ibeji,
Whom, I hope, would stave off
Any unwanted nocturnal intruders.
I pave the road that runs by my house
(It a bi-annual debris-filling festival)
However, I’m not paid for these
So I still have to earn a living
And like all true Lagosians,
At 4:30 am, I am up.
Byt 5:30 am, I am out.
On a prayer and a wing
That no robbers may accost me.
I get to work by 6 am
To begin my daily grind
I manage to be home by 9 pm
(Invesment bankers, eat ur hearts out!)
To resume as the chairman
of my Local Government Area.

I’m living the life!


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