A Necromancer called Segun Adeniyi?

The “president has directed the vice president should continue to run the affairs of the state…”
– Mr. Segun Adeniyi

Mr. Umar Musa Yar’Adua is assumed dead, unless confirmed otherwise.

I was left aghast though somewhat impressed during the week, when Mr. Segun Adeniyi issued two statements; not one, but two; ostensibly on behalf of a man that is for all intents in one of the many phases of dying that advanced medical sciences have bestowed on the 21st century homo sapiens.

This is the same Mr. Adeniyi who was unable to speak to Nigerians coherently since his boss and madam left Nigeria on political, nay health, asylum to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. The last statement I recall from him was from Angola where he had gone to represent guess who? His dying / dead boss of course.

It is interesting to note Mr. Adeniyi’s metamorphosis from a fairly well respected newspaper editor to a man who dined with the devil with long cutleries, on to one who eventually chose to dine without cutleries at all. His latest incarnation as a man who is capable of speaking to the dead (or partially dead, where all medical science has failed) and issue statements on behalf of the said dead man is nothing short of the feats done with a ouija board.

My candid advice to Mr. Adeniyi is to promptly resign his current post as it is not lucrative enough. There are hordes of Nigerians and indeed many people in the world who wish to contact dead relatives and who would pay a fortune to have a statement from their dead loved ones. Think of how much money he would make if he decides to become an expert witness in contested probate and will cases? Think of how much companies like Ford or Coca-Cola would pay to hear the counsels of long-dead titans that helped shaped these companies?

In addition, think of how many people would want to train under him. The money to be made from apprentice necromancers would make even General T.Y Danjuma envious. I am already dreaming of a gigantic building somewhere in Abuja, with “SegAde Necro Towers” emblazoned across the top of the building. The building has to be close to the rocky villa, where his services are most likely to be in demand for a while to come.

Mr. Adeniyi, you have hit a gold-mine! Do not let this opportunity slip by you. Resign now and use your God-given (?) talent! Remember you would be asked what you did with it on the Judgment Day!


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