“He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes, saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm. “
I can safely say the 2011 presidential election in Nigeria is a fait accompli for Dr. Goodluck Jonathan. Not since the witch of Endor foretold the death of Saul have the gods of pantheism and Jehovah been aligned on an opinion of this magnitude. The custodian of the 300 odd deities of Yoruba land, decided a few weeks back that heaven had lost its voice and with theocratic authority, decreed that Dr. GEJ is the new-found voice of heaven. To forestall a situation where this voice would be deprived of celestial company, Madam Péshé (French pronunciation, please) was deemed to be the spouse (read: Echo) of this new cosmic voice.
Not to be outdone, the man of God, named after another man of God who walked with El-Shaddai of old and was found no more – “for God took him”; in a divinely inspired moment had the president of the most populous (?) black nation kneel down before him whilst he proclaimed (?) him as the anointed one.
Both of these events within four weeks of each other! When the denizens of the pantheon speak, woe betides the mortals who oppose their proclamation. Let Atiku be filled with fear! Let Ribadu’s trepidations overwhelm him into submission. Let Buhari lose all hope. The gods have spoken. And should any of them be tempted to “heat up the polity”, let them be told –”it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God”, for it has been prophesied unto GEJ, “the Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace”.
And I am earnestly urging all Nigerians; do not bother to vote, lest you incur the wrath of the gods. If you vote against the anointed of heaven, you are voting against your maker(s). If you vote for him, you are being presumptuous in thinking that you can help the gods; remember Uzzah in the Bible who was struck down for holding out his hand to keep the ark from toppling off a cart? Think of the election day as a public holiday. Sit at home and keep your wives and children company. If you have no children, use that day to make one. If you have no wife, ring up that girl you have been mustering up courage to chat up. Do anything, but do not vote.
I do not wish to hold brief for Orunmila or any other Yoruba deity; my knowledge of Ifa is based almost entirely on Wikipedia and I do not hear from the Judeo-Christian God with sufficient clarity that I would decide to anoint anyone. I am just a Christian trying to do my quota on earth whilst I yet have breath. On the other hand, I think that with the privilege of being the principal custodian of religion in Yorubaland or having direct access to God, comes the responsibility to apply discretion in one’s pronouncements. After all, Samuel took care to anoint David in private, likewise Ahijah when foretelling the ascension of Jeroboam to the throne of the northern Israelite kingdom.
On one hand, it will be extremely comforting to know that the deities across different religions have agreed to support Jonathan. On the other hand, there is a question that tugs at the corners of my mind, in this quick succession of divine pronunciations, is GEJ the ruler ordained to deliver the country from the morass where it currently sits; or dare I ask, are the gods simply prodding him forward to a destination known only to them? Otherwise, a disturbing proverbs begins to echo faintly in my mind – “he whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad”.